I could be a gunslinger…

It’s no secret that for years John Cusack was at the top of my wish list. Dark, mysterious and broody John Cusack.

I actually talked to him on the phone once. My then boyfriend had told him that if he (John) said the word, I would leave him (the boyfriend) in a heartbeat. He likely doesn’t remember asking, but he invited me to Detroit that very weekend. I told him if he was ever in Toronto, and needed an “unidentified woman” to walk a red carpet on his arm, I was the one for him.

Then, as luck would have it, at the 2013 HHOF Induction, I did share the red carpet with him. I was standing at the edge with all of the other photographers and media, eyeballing the man of my dreams. Not sure quite what happened, but that wish dissipated like a fart in the wind.

john cusack boston arts diary
Souce: bostonartsdiary.com

He was wearing a tuxedo, of course, but it was just after he did the movie “The Paper Boy”, so he was looking a bit haggard. I still think he’s wonderful, I can’t help myself. But I no longer hope to walk the red carpet by his side.

Fast forward to today. I’ve been binge watching Netflix. I’m a bit late to this show I’ve been hooked on, since the final season is done. Ever watched “Hell on Wheels” ladies?

The show is set during the building of the railroad after the civil war, between Cheyenne, Wisconsin and Omaha, Nebraska. I’d have fit right in. I love history. I love horses. I love my cowboy boots. I can ride. I can shoot. I ain’t afraid of snakes or rats. Sleeping in a tent in the mud doesn’t bother me either.

The best part though is a character who has his own moral compass, Cullen Bohannon, played by Anson Adams Mount IV. Ask anyone, I’m a sucker for a southern accent.

Source: indulgy.com

Sorry John, but you’ve been replaced on the red carpet wish list. If this gun totin’ hombre needs someone, here I am.

Santa, if y’all could fix it to put Anson Mount under my tree for Christmas, I’d be much obliged. No wrapping necessary, just a big red bow would do. Please and thank you!

Where are you Christmas…?

Is it just me?

I’ve been having such a hard time finding my Christmas spirit this year. Maybe it’s work stress, or the pushy people shopping, or that this was always Mom’s holiday and she isn’t here again. I don’t know. I’ve been looking for it everywhere.

We decided not to put up the Christmas tree until the 23rd. Okay, not because we lack the holiday vibe, but because Stitch (otherwise known as “the damn cat”) will only try climbing it and knocking all the ornaments off it…again.


This isn’t him, but you get the idea.

We’ve never put lights on the outside of the house either. They’d look really pretty, especially with a light dusting of snow, but then I think of the hydro bill and shudder. So instead, I rely on the neighbours down the street. They have holiday spirit, and decorations, to spare. You can’t hear it, but the house on the left has music.


I will say this. I almost finished my shopping and the stocking stuffers last week. One last thing to pick up for my son and I’ll be done. I had enough energy afterwards to wrap for 3.5 hours. Mission accomplished. Stocking stuffers did however need somewhere to go. My daughter’s boyfriend didn’t have a stocking at our house last year. We don’t want him to feel left out. He’s been around for a couple years, so he’s become part of the family.


We don’t have a fireplace, so I put four nails in the hallway outside the kitchen. Yes, that is spackling hiding behind them. I’m getting ready to paint, don’t judge.

Why do people hang the stockings on the mantle anyway? Granted, Santa comes down the chimney so it’s convenient to have them right there, but if you light the fireplace, all the tasty chocolate inside would melt. I like my solution better.

I found something that finally made me smile about the entire holiday ordeal.

It’s a bit of childhood nostalgia, but the Abominable, “Bumble”, was always my favourite. I miss the days of settling on the couch with my mom to watch the old Christmas specials. The old stop animation with Burl Ives as snowman narrator. Maybe the holiday spirit can be found again on the island of misfit toys. We all want someone to love, and somewhere to belong.

There were two packages at the office when I got there today. My aunt had emailed that there were two on their way, with a reminder not to open them until Christmas. It was tempting, let me tell you. The one for my kids I wouldn’t dream of opening. I can’t wait for them to see they have mail from Germany for Christmas. Growing up that was the best part. Mail from grandparents, and aunts and uncles, that we knew would have chocolate of some sort in it. There’s something about the wrapping paper too. It’s thinner, and even feels different. Special. Doesn’t even matter what the package contains. It’s the fact that somewhere out there, someone thinks and cares about you.

Maybe I found my Christmas spirit after all. It was in a reminder of when I was little, and that it was always family that made the holidays special.

I’ll be with my kids, my daughter’s boyfriend, my brother and Dad on Christmas Eve. We have loved ones both near and far, and that’s what matters.